How Relationship OCD (ROCD) Can Strain Your Partnership + How to Cope

Relationship OCD is a common subtype of obsessive compulsive disorder. Learn more about how it may be affecting your relationships.

Written by: Jordan Kadish

Reviewed for Accuracy by: Kassie Love, MMFT, MPH

Nobody feels 100% certain about their relationships 100% of the time. Momentary feelings of doubt, anxiety, and disconnection are normal—they are part of what makes us human. However, when these feelings are intensified in an individual with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), they can put major strain on their mental health and relationships, turning into an unhealthy cycle. Relationship OCD, also known as ROCD, is a fairly common subtype of OCD. It affects over 50% of people who have OCD (Surles, 2025). Despite its commonality, many people feel confused or ashamed of their ROCD symptoms. This blog will teach you all about ROCD—including its symptoms, root causes, and how to cope. Keep reading to learn more!

What is Relationship OCD?

Relationship OCD is one of the many subtypes of OCD, like contamination OCD and moral OCD. It is classified by an intense focus on one’s relationships, whether that focus be the doubt they’re feeling, how “right” the relationship feels, their partner’s flaws, or even a preoccupation with ex-partners (Doron & Derby, 2014). While ROCD is most commonly focused on romantic partnerships and presents in early adulthood (when most individuals get into their first serious relationship), it can also present in platonic or familial relationships (Doron & Derby, 2014). 

There are two main types of ROCD: “relationship-centered” and “partner-focused” (Drake, 2021). “Relationship-centered” ROCD is classified by persistent doubt about the relationship and whether their partner is a good fit for them, if they truly love their partner, or if the relationship is on the right path for the future. “Partner-focused” ROCD entails obsessions about their partner’s real or imagined flaws, like appearance, values, and skills. 

Think about it like this: ROCD is similar to other subtypes of OCD, except one’s relationship is at the forefront of their obsession. For example, someone with contamination OCD may obsess about contracting an illness, and partake in ritualistic hand-washing and showering in an attempt to reduce anxiety and cope with distressing thoughts. Similarly, those with ROCD may obsess about their partner potentially not being the “right” fit for them, and attempt to cope by repeatedly analyzing all parts of the relationship, like their partner’s flaws or the possibility of infidelity. 

Signs and Symptoms of ROCD

The signs and symptoms of ROCD may vary from person to person, but they typically include the following (Surles, 2025): 

• Repetitive thoughts about the relationship that are hard to escape or cope with

• Reassurance seeking (from their partner, friends, themselves, or the internet)

• Comparison to other relationships (including ex-partners, friends, family, or idealized relationships)

• Intense doubt and rumination

• Repetitive checking for indicators that the relationship is “right” or “wrong”

• Avoidance of things getting serious (to protect yourself from getting hurt)

Common obsessive thoughts among individuals with ROCD include (Drake, 2021): 

• “Am I actually attracted to my partner? Do I really love them?” 

• “Is this a sign that they aren’t right for me?”

• “How do I know if this relationship has a future?” 

Common Root Causes of ROCD

There is not one core cause of ROCD. People suffer from ROCD for many different reasons. However, the most common causes, according to research, are negative thought patterns, fear of abandonment, negative past relationship experiences, low self-esteem, and pre-existing OCD (Warner, 2022). It’s important to recognize that your root cause of ROCD may be different—everyone’s journey is entirely personal. 

Ways to Cope With ROCD

ROCD can be debilitating and extremely difficult to handle. It affects potentially one of the most important aspects of your life: your relationships with loved ones. Despite how difficult it can be to manage, there are ways you may be able to improve your relationship OCD and cultivate healthier habits and relationships. 

1. Recognize the issue. Many individuals struggle to cope with ROCD because, well, they don’t even realize they have it. Instead of attributing their emotions and doubts to a symptom of ROCD, they may blame their partner, which only worsens symptoms. By recognizing that you struggle with ROCD, you are taking the first step in managing the issue. 

2. Reduce compulsions. There is a common misconception that obsessive thoughts are the “problem” to solve regarding OCD. This is not the case. The truth is, everyone has doubtful thoughts about their relationships. However, because those who don’t struggle with OCD do not attach intense meaning or significance to the thought, they don’t feel the need to partake in obsessions to reduce the anxiety surrounding the thought. Therefore, the issue isn’t the thought itself. It is the compulsions that reinforce that the thought is worth “solving.” To reduce ROCD symptoms, try your hardest to resist the urge to complete compulsions. Eventually, your brain and body will recognize that your thoughts are no more than thoughts, not signs of danger. 

3. Get professional help. OCD of any kind can be difficult to navigate alone. Mental health professionals are there to help support you by providing therapy, prescription medication, and personalized care plans. Exposure response therapy, or ERP, is known as the “gold standard” for OCD treatment (Hezel & Simpson, 2019). It entails exposing the client to their obsessions while helping them resist the urge to complete the compulsion in a safe environment. This eventually helps reduce OCD symptoms. 

Remember, you are never alone in your ROCD journey. Mental health professionals are here to help you navigate the disorder and discover coping skills for recovery. With practice and patience, you can learn to manage ROCD and have healthier relationships with the ones you love. 

References: 

Doron, G., & Derby, D. (n.d.). Relationship OCD. International OCD Foundation. https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/relationship-ocd/ 

Drake, K. (2021). Relationship OCD: Causes and symptoms of ROCD. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/ocd/relationship-ocd#what-it-is 

Hezel, D. M., & Simpson, H. B. (2019). Exposure and response prevention for obsessive-compulsive disorder: A review and new directions. Indian Journal of Psychiatry, 61(Suppl 1), S85–S92. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6343408/ 

Surles, T. (2025). Relationship OCD (ROCD): Symptoms, causes, and treatment. NOCD. https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/relationship-ocd 

Warner, D. (2022). Relationship OCD: What is it, symptoms, and causes. Medical News Today. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/relationship-ocd 

Kassie Love is a psychotherapist specializing in more intensive mood and emotional regulation needs, as well as unusual thoughts and experiences. Visit here to learn more and see how you can improve your mental well-being.